*sigh* Yep, It's me...

I had something else that I was gonna say first but, I'm a bit annoyed right now. At myself mostly. See, there was a blood drive in town the other day, and me being the concientious one with no use for an extra pint of blood, I called in to do my civic duty, filled in the forms, waited three quarters of an hour, only to be told I couldn't give blood because I had a slight cough. Bummer, right? I know they were only doing their job, but it felt like such a waste of a night after that, because there were so many things that I actually meant to do. Still, I have Friday off, maybe I'll do them then... All I have to do is remember what they all were... Why am I bringing this up here? Why am I asking myself that? Actually, better still, why am I expecting an answer?

I wish I could play the guitar, not professionally, or even perfectly, but enough to strum out a tune whenever I felt like it, you know? I guess I just want one more way to lose myself, and surprise surprise, I don't want to work for it. If consumer culture had an ass I'd kick it...

You know, a friend told me that by being myself, I've stopped him thinking about suicide. I'd probably feel better if I could remember what it was that I'd said at the time. Seriously, he asked me if I remembered, and for the life of me, I couldn't think of what it was. A life I potentially saved, and I can't remember how. Sounds deep, doesn't it? Bet there are a great many people who feel like this, which should really cheapen the sentiment a bit, but to be honest I just don't care. What does that say about me? Do I really want to know?

Maybe it's a result of things I've been watching recently, but I find myself imagining wat it'd look like if I said all of this whilst holding up a rubber chicken, like Bin-Laden did in that Family Guy clip... Maybe I'd reach more people that way, become an internet phenomenon like the Arctic Monkeys or the Crazy frog... The Chicken Blogger! Ooh...corny.... Picture it though, me sitting in front video camera, holding up a rubber chicken, and while everyone else is going "Rubber chicken, what the hell?", I'll have laden my speech with subliminal messaging, become a paranoid's dream...

What would I ask for though? If I could do that, what would I ask for? Money is tempting, but it seems so...overdone. Cds? Nah, DVD and MP3 files... those seem to have more value on today's market. Than again, if I could really hypnotize people, I'd probably try it out on myself and go insane. Isn't that a happy thought? It's a bit like being able to see the future really, isn't it? Who wants to see the future? To always know exactly what's coming? Corporations, and governments no doubt, though you can't see exactly what'll happen, rather what could happen given a set of circumstances due to Heisenburg's uncertainty principle. That however, would be straying a bit from whatever semblance of a point I was aiming for. I mean, if you always knew in advance what the outcome of a choice would be, then you'd have nothing to look forward to, no surprises, no secrets, no mysterious endings, no "I wonder how that film'll end. Your life would be meaningless, haunted by the ends you see... Creepy.

I wonder how many bad horror movies were developed from that concept? There must be two at least. Seriously, conversation-wise, bad movies are next to immortal, where a good movie is relegated to comments about a particular actor or stunt, that is actually rather boring the 99th time you watch it. A bad movie, on the other hand, can be dredged up in almost any situation, providing filler for even the most empty of conversations, an oddity that you can put up for discussion years from now, when the hallowed subjects of the classic movies are beyond the tongues of mortals... Wait, that sounded wrong. Erm...ah, damn it, I know there's a better way to put that... Ah...screw it, it'll come to me eventually, but it'll bug the hell outta me until it does. Nothing worse than forgetting what you were about to say, though falling asleep standing up comes close, as it's embarrassing and painful, I suppose. One minute, you're standing, paying attention, the next, smack!, you hit the ground. It's funny in an abstract sort of way.

Still, better sign off now, as time is short.
so...
signing off.