Trailers.

Yeah, yeah, I've been neglecting this. Probably for the best though, as I've had remarkably little to say. Without further ado:



and:



These me likey.

-----------------------------
Life is white, and I am black,
Jesus and his lawyer are coming back.
Oh my darlin', will you be here
before I sputter out?
Novocaine for the Soul by the Eels.

Testing.

Once again.

Don't worry, I'm well aware that I've been neglecting this, but screw it. A lot seems to have leapt up in the meantime, but to be honest I'm just making excuses at this point. Have one exam coming up on friday and I'm going to be scrambling to find notes on that subject. But on the bright side I have 3 subjects down for the count, with only two others after christmas.

Its all gravy after that as far as I am concerned. Well, at least until the next round of exams start...but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

I have someone trying to convince me to get involved in a warhammer 40k tournament in february, as well as taking up necromunda. To be honest, I'm seriously considering both, if only to expand my social circle a little.

I'm beginning to get a tad ticked off with some of the members of a certain forum but that's to be expected. I'm hoping I'll be able to start posting there on a more regular basis, and then hopefully outside of just the rpgs.

Here's to hoping.

Like a fox.

Quickie

My most insecere apologies for not posting sooner, but I'm in the middle of a large bout of procrastination and I quite frankly couldn't give a toss. Also I've got craploads to do so...yeah, watch this space. Hopefully I'll have an update/rant later.

Ola!

Sorry about the mess but once again I have remarkably little to say to you all (not that that's ever stopped me before, but hey, who's counting?), couple of things to report all the same.

I've reserved Mass Effect and Kane&Lynch Dead Men. Now Mass Effect is all but guaranteed to rock. A lot. But Dead Men...hmmm. Nonetheless I am commited to buying, pillaging and otherwise abusing this game so I have endeavoured to find a trailer...



also


thoughts? Yeah it doesn't say much about the game but here's hoping, right? Loving the guitar riff all the same.

Also modelling avidly in preparation for an apocalypse game tomorrow. All things going well, the Seven Hells (me) should be well and truly slaughtered, but I'm looking forward to it all the same. Have six terminators to paint tonight and an obliterator stand in to assemble and paint... Possibly some bikes too...

Sad part is its sucking my rpg time, both on WF and Ashes of Middenheim, so hopefully I'll be back on track for those little gems on saturday...

Hope should be a crime, methinks.

Like a fox.

Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be. -A Handful of Sand on the Shore, Kahlil Gibran

Ba-dum-bum-pish!

Are you annoyed? Irritated maybe? Do you get up each day and look forward to when the clocks go back an hour so you get that extra hour's sleep? Do you wonder why you can hear a child's cries through three layers of walls and it loses none of its potency? Do you wonder why your pet persists in clawing at your leg during dinner as opposed to letting you finish your meal in peace? No? Well neither do I, I mean come on like, who'd waste time on that? Why are you watching me shower?

There must be some clever random title generator out there somewhere, seriously, I'm getting tired of trying to invent new and amusing eye grabbers for these admittedly lacklustre pieces, and I doubt I could carry off simply titling them by date as some are wont to do. Heh, wont.

Anyway, now that the modicum debacle is finished, and the banana hammocks have been well and truly shoved through the catflaps of our time, is it time to discuss something more serious? Should I find something real and controversial to talk about? Should I seek out reasons to be well and truly pissed off merely that my writing will appeal to the cynics out there? Probably not, but that does sound like a tickle.

Boredom truly is the greatest curse that God bestowed on mankind. Well...that and famine, AIDS, drought, pestilence, disease, bus lanes and Mac users...and this could take a while, but hey! Who's counting?

Speaking of Macs, no sooner had I typed the above than an ad for a Mac tutorial appeared in my youtube window. Un. Canny.

So now my procrastination and rampant bloodlust are starting to interfere with my work. Still no movement on the video blog thing, which I'm basically putting off. Still haven't applied to any of those firms yet, though the deadline is fast approaching and its scaring the bejaysus out of me. Seriously considering buying a magic 8-ball to see if it changes my life in any dramatic fashion.

So I need to get moving on a lot of things really, but that's nothing new. Could probably do with submitting what poetry I have to...something, I dunno, reccommendations are always welcome but I'm just looking for something else to do at this point. Need to get into the habit of updating one more day, though I'm slightly (only slightly) lost as to where to go with it next (slightly mind you). I have ideas but not much else.

I also have this college project thingie for which I must interview someone in the airline industry...meaning I need to buy one of those recorder thingies and a suit of some kind, though I'll need that for my interview anyway, so not always a bad idea.

I wonder what people would say if I showed up at a BDSM club in a Waffen SS outfit complete with leather mask and gloves? Not much reason for it more than it being something to do, and sounding rather ticklish.

So, yeah, I'm pretty much a mess right now, and I really need someone/something to regularly beat the procrastination out of me, almost as much as I need someone to talk to and something to tell them. If that's not a conundrum, well I'm stumped, aren't I?

This is getting out of hand.

Like a fox.

There's no combination of words I can put on the back of a postcard,
no song that I can sing, but I can try for your heart.

Jack Johnson - Better together

And lo it did come to be...

Before I say anything else, I'm going to state that chewing thick, crunchy brown bread whilst wearing headphones is not good for your ears.

Believe me.

In another moment of spite/boredom I have considered purchasing a webcam or just adding video segments to this illiterate mess. No idea whether its a good idea given my express lack of photogenicness...ity, or if it will even add anything other than express humiliation on my part... But I shall endeavour to do this in a ninja mask...right after I endeavour to do this.

That'll work.

Sounds gayer than a dozen frilly pink jumpers.

Like a fox.

"Just promise to murder me with your pants on."

"I promise nothing."

I couldn't help myself.

Thought you all could use some cheering up. Enjoy.

Advertising induced violence

Ok, so here's thinking this thing is in dire (dire mind you) need of an update. So here's a few things I've been wrestling with.

Firstly, like many fans of Irish radio, I am getting increasingly frustrated with Clearwire broadband. I mean fair play to them for the advertising campaign, great publicity and all that, but I am insulted, insulted that they are making such a mockery of our intelligence.

"When you want to make toast, you just plug in your toaster."

My god. What brand of toaster do they use? Over here you have to buy bread, electricity, put the bread into the toaster, turn the toaster on, and then watch it in case it burns and sets off the bloody fire alarms. So much for broadband being as simple as making toast, say I.

Another thing, I got bored the other night...ok more bored than usual, lets say, and set up a profile on Match.com. Aside from having a beef with any site that advertises itself as a free dating site then demands subscription for anything decent, because lets face it, that's just good business sense on their part, they send out this little mail to you every so often with what they consider to be your matches. All well so far.

Unfortunately most of said options are in the states. Or the UK. Can't exactly pop out for a coffee/tea/whateverthe hell they drink for a chat to see what they're like? Well I could, but it would set me back a bit, and seems like too much effort for a cup of coffee/whatever. I could also use chat, but yak yak, blah blah, time difference and so forth, chances of getting a decent conversation with these young, obviously busy people seems pretty slim. But, you know me, I'm a tryer, so I've confined myself pretty much to window shopping for the minute. Which brings me to my next issue...

While browsing, I came across a profile which was very, very specific about what was wanted. Not height or fitness wise now, but she was looking for a state of mind, someone who knew where they were going in life and were already well-established. I'll admit, seeing someone that certain was frightening.

Not one to pass something like this off, I wondered (famous last words, I know, but can you do?) why exactly it bothered me. I suppose it seemed like a fairly lonely option...and more than a bit of a cop out. Demanding to meet someone in their twenties who already knows without a shadow of a doubt where they are going is daunting enough, but it also means very little work from, or rather on, your part.

Maybe that's the appeal; having a solid centre in your life while you find yourself. Personally I think a pet would be a better investment, but then again I don't think its wise to look for something on someone that you haven't found yourself. We're all too young to know where we really want to be, I think.

But enough about me.

Saw the new Harry potter film, wasn't impressed. If that was me I'd own hogwarts by now. Daniel Radcliff looks like an ostrich and I can't understand why harry isn't packing heat at this point. Extra Bonus mental picture: Harry walks down an alley. Voldemort appears and starts waving his wand. Harry pulls out a 9mm and shoots him in the head. Counter-curse that beeatch.

Saw transformers. Was impressed by the transformers themselves if not by the story, but I'm a guy sooooooooooooooo....yeah.

Saw Die-Hard 4.0, the only impressive thing being that Bruce Willis still has the moves and looks pretty good bald. That scene with the jet was a travisty, no way any pilot would have done that much damage even with orders. Well, I would have but then again I wouldn't have been aiming for bruce either.

Like a fox.

"This is the box. This is where I think. Notice that it is, in fact, outside the box."
"You hired sherpas."
"I hired sherpas."

And I am back...

In body if not quite in mind just yet. Still, what with being back at work and faced with the prospect of having to catch up with both model painting, written backgrounds and...occassionally rpg posts...I'm almost certain that management will be along shortly to resume control of this operation.

So...yeah, five days staying in a tent north of london, three days of which were absolutly smothered by raindrops the size of golf balls. Other than that though I still managed to accumulate an ungodly number of tank pictures and sundry, some of which I shall endeavour to post here when I either sort out the good from the bad, or discover some kind of gallery widget here. But yeah, if interested in shopping (for guns and sundry) and tanks the War and Peace show is definitely worth a visit. My only qualm is that I had not enough dosh to afford what I wanted. Though considering it was £55 sterling for the cheapest Waffen SS peaked cap I could find and something like £150 sterling for a uniform. And don't get me started on the weapons.

Although I did get to take apart and assemble a 20 year old luger pistol, and then dry fire it, to the dismay of the stall owner. Apparently you can't dry fire those. Then how the hell do you do a function check or even release the action without firing live rounds? This may require research methinks.

Its hello! Aaaaaaaaannnnnnnndddddd farewell for a bit...or something...

Christ. Dear Christ, sweet Christ, bloody Jaysus Christ in heaven. Hmmmmm. Nope. Not good enough. I'm going to have to go for the big one here, which I'm not sure if I coined but my ego aside: Dear sweet blue unholy plastic Christ in heaven above!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

*sigh*

Come on, man, get it together. Get it together. No....no....nooooo. Do it. Now. I mean my God Sheila surely there is some semblance of a brain in that lopsided head of yours, which in turn could contain the slightest (slightest, mind you) modicum of memory. How bloody hard is it to remember to update a friggin blog once or, God forbid, twice a week?

All you do is work and surf the internet, dammit! Surely you can find some time in and around 2-2 1/2 hours of breaks you have at work or even when you lounge around bored at home to grab a pen (I'm a philistine that way, sue me. Seriously sue me. I'll sue you right back for infringement on my right to free speech. Boo yah! Take that internationally recognised law and netiqquette! I own all of you. All. Of. You. And then some.) and jot down a post?

You neglected the damn thing for at least a month! A month! And you're about to head off on a wonderful little four week trek punctuated by the odd night back home with minimal internet access. So. New task. Keep a friggin diary on this little jaunt and take pictures. Then post the updates here for the world to laugh at. As long as no-one is in DPM or behaving like an ass. Bloody defense force image policy.

*sigh*

This isn't working. I'd slap myself but then I'd look crazy. Normally I wouldn't care about looks but I don't want to give the world any more warning than I already have. Now where was I? Was I anywhere to begin with that I can, on reflection, go back there? And if I was, would I want to?

All very interesting questions to which I could not be arsed giving an answer at this point in time, I am that ticked off with myself right now, I really am. Of course its hard to stay really and truly mad at yourself when your terrier is curled up on the chair beside you making little sleepy noises with eyes closed and ears up. But that's another story. It is. Trust me.

Of course if I were you I wouldn't do that either.

Which is also another story.

...

This could take a while.

On one of many tangents i might take over the course of this post, when I open my yahoo mailbox, I expect to be greeted by some prompt telling me to clean out my spam folder. Having actual mail to read through, which more often than not is just some shopping catalogue or another piece of spam that slipped through, is a bonus. I don't expect to have rediculous news headlines popping out at me.

"Teenager hurt in 'tombstoning' jump"? The hell is tombstoning? and if it is what I think it is why in the living blue hell would anyone want to troll round the neighbourhood, get the gang together and then play leapfrog with tombstones? those cross things on top of them can be hard on the crotch.

Of course when I actually try this whole "not being an idiot" thing that everyone (no, I don't know who "everyone" is) talks about and actually read the article it makes a lot more sense. Climbing up a rock that looks like a tombstone, and then jumping off of it into the water. I can see how one would hurt one's spine doing that. I really can. Doesn't make you any less of an idiot though. That's what I think. Chances are that no matter how great it feels to clamber up onto that big, slippery rock in your swimsies and your protective booties, or if you are really with friends...your best party gear (you know who you are)...chances are there are better, possibly less dangerous ways to enjoy yourself. You're just too lazy to find them, aren't you? Yes you are. Yes, You, Are!

But enough about me, lets talk about me! Wait....that didn't sound right! Dammit now I've lost my train of thought. See?! You see what you do to me, internet? Huh?! See how you always gotta upset me?! Ruining my ability to focus on even a single bloody OOH! A COIN! It be shiney, and it be mine. I be either pathetic or me elevator do no be going to the top floor no more, or both methinks.

And now I can't remember what else I was going to say. Christ.

Modicum, catflap, cabbage, Banana hammock!

*sigh*

How do you type unintelligble gibberish? And don't say "but you just did", I'm trying to be half-way seri-ah who am I kidding? jdfhuaehfa ehfabfguaehfabeg uaegfuhaewuifh aiuewgaiuwe gbfoi auebfaebfuiaebfuiabefoi uaebfiuebwwbgiuobewgibweguibaweub fgaiuewbguawbegfuabe guabhewfbaewufbaewuibga iuwebgaubegaubegiuabguiawbgabg and I've never been so humiliated in all my life!

HA!

*sigh*

Deep breath.

Aaaaaaaaaannnnnnndddddddd.....

Finished splinter cell double agent.

Finished gears of war.

Finished Oblivion.

Reread the Great Hunt by Robert Jordan. The characters are really, really starting to piss me off. Swear to god. Rand is a mupet. Perrin is pathetic and so whipped it beggars belief. Mat is the only character who can still claim to have at least one testicle, but that's slowly being taken away from him. And I don't even want to get started on the women. I really don't. Must. Not. Give. In.

Phew! It was a close call back there for a minute.

Going to start reading George R R Martin's A Game of Thrones soonish, so feel free to comment with a whole bucketload of reasons why it either rocks or sucks, so I can pretend to give a crap.

Do it.

Doooooo iiiiiittttt.

Do it.

You know you want to.

-Like a Fox.

"We have grown, but there is still much to be done,
many live in darkness that must be shown the way
before the dawning of a new day."
Deus Ex - The Conspiracy - Helios Ending.

Damn.

Ok, so I've officially been gone for too long. Its no excuse, and you're damn right I've been putting this off for the last I forget how long. And yes, I am too lazy to check the date on my last post. That's right blog, the rest of my life has more say in my life than you do. Does that hurt ya? Make ya cry? Bet it does.



But my personal relationship with my blog aside, things have been busy enough for the last while. I am currently three exams into my end of year dohickey, and as of this moment Financial reporting, management accounting and AIS 2 have been tied to the post and scourged like the filthy, war-mongering whores that they are. Next in the firing line, Company Law and Marketing. Boo-yah.



So aside from stringing my college subjects up with chains and full-body latex torture suts, what have I been up to? That's a damn good question. I really don't know. Or do I?



So...I've rediscovered Annie Lennox, Duke Special, some older episodes of Scrubs, and done very little that's remotely interesting. This even sounds depressing in my head. How in the name of God and sonny Jesus did I get onto tis anywho? I should say that more often.


Ok, I'm pegged down to help out at an LMG shoot on Saturday and I need to restock on some paints for my models....plus I should really start studying later on before the real panic sets in.

Dammit.

Maybe I'll have more rant and less to do list by tomorrow.

Like a fox.

Yar!-

Ha! I don't know how or why I'd bother taunting a concept, but take that Sage Accounting systems stage 2! You are officially my bitch. Now I just need to convince the theory exam and economics that they are just as owned.

Recently found out that my local model store isn't going to have my order in for another two weeks. While it means I don't have to check in every bloody day to see if the order is in, it still sucks.

I need more to say.

Like a fox.

Back once again.

Somewhere, deep down, I think my life will be very, very disappointing. Don't get me wrong, I know life is always shorter than expected, but the idea that nothing in life will ever, for lack of a better explanation, blow me away, well, its just one more item on a long list of things that scare me. Someone recently told me that everything was a shade of mediocre in my eyes. Still, we live in hope, right?

Also, I saw the latter half of Fight Club the other night. I have now made it my mission to track down the dvd of that film, as well as the novel that inspired it. Why? Because I can, I guess. And also, I suppose it struck a chord somewhere a bit too close for comfort...

For now, I have two subtley different questions. First of all, we have a keyboard at home, (piano keyboard, not pc keyboard. Moron.) that was my little sister's but she seems to have fallen out of playing the same three songs over and over and fucking over and things are quiet now. I've always liked piano, so the idea of learning to play piano appeals to me in a sort of: "way too much effort, but hey why not?!" kind of way. First question. Should I bother?

Next issue. I have been invited to go to Salsa dancing classes with a friend and his girlfriend. Now, I know that they are only asking me because they couldn't find anyone else, and just wnat to rope in as many friends as possible so that they feel better about themselves. But as I said before, I have a mortal fear of doing anything strenuous in public, and I suck at memorising those kind of routines. It would be an excuse to socialise though, I'll admit that. Second question: Would this be worth my while?


-------------------------------
Here's a little extract from a letter I wrote a year or so back, which some of you might find interesting:
Anyway, remember the Saturday that The Godfather was on Network 2? It began with me looking forward to a good movie and ended up with me in this whole philosophicalesque mood, though once again I find it impossible to nail down what I was contemplating.

The original plan was to watch the movie, scoff some pocorn and generally enjoy the whole vibe thing that you have goin on when you sit down to watch a good film that you haven't seen in a while. What I didn't plan on was that they'd be showing Goodfellas at the same time on TV3 so I ended up flicking between both movies and just soaking in the two views of Italian gangster stuff, which resulted in me finding a film that I'd have avoided if I saw it in, say, the tv guide called The Last Days of Disco, which was about, wait for it, the antics of a group of young intellectuals at the end of the disco era.

Now I would have avoided it because at first glance it doesn't seem like the sort of thing that would interest me, but I caught it about quarter of the way through, this guy was just after telling his girlfriend that he thought he was gay and I kept watching to see if this would lead the film off in an interesting direction, it didn't, but by the time that I realised that the guy was just a womanising coke addict who used that line to win sympathy with women it was too late and I ended up watching the rest of it. Now for a while this didn't seem to have any real purpose but after a while it went full throttle into the whole relationship thing with the small group of people pairing off and running through oodles of intellectual discussions on films like Lady and The Tramp and the impact of Shakespearean lines.

According to them, Lady and the Tramp was a well crafted psychological tool aimed at young kids as, apart from the odd bit of barking at the start, the film isn't about dogs but the human mentalities that the dogs symbolise. Lady, the protagonist, is basically a blond airhead who falls for this shifty, junkyard hound named Tramp who spends most of his time chasing tail, while the one character who spouts honesty and loyalty is laughed at as old fashioned. What this means is that in around ten years, the human version of Tramp walks through the door and all these girls are falling over themselves for him while their parents wonder how they could like him at all. Another guy got angry at this because he felt that Tramp really changed his ways towards the end and the arguement just went on for a while. What's your view? Or did you see that film at all?

Later on in the film, the same guy that stuck up for Tramp asked his buddy if the line "To thine own self be true" was a good thing if thine own self was a womanising cocaine addict who is out for self preservation all the way. The friend just said that he preferred "Et tu Brute?" as there was really a higher loyalty in question when Brutus stabbed caesar in the back.
Now maybe its just the way that ideas come to me and the time of the night that all this was happening at but I ended up thinking about Linkin Park. Remember how you said that it was a really depressing song? I dunno if you heard the original yet but I'd gotten a copy of the reanimation version the same day and, having heard both, I'd have to say that the mix for the reanimation one reaches a lot deeper than the original, even if you don't analyse the lyrics too heavily.

Oh yeah before I forget, remember down on Bere island when I said that I was the guy watching all these people walking away towards a happy ending? I figured out why. I'm watching them cause I'm actually hiding in a ditch with a sniper rifle waiting for them to pass.

Your friend
Fitzy
--------------------------

I am the all singing, all dancing crap of the world.

Like a fox.

Deep breath

Ok, so I have a sage exam at five today and I feel in no way, shape or form prepared. Dear Christ almighty I'm nervous right now. Still though, at least I have a free repeat.

Right?

Like a fox.

Thoughts

I've just realised that I'd be frightening if I had as few inhibitions as some of my friends...

I've also realised that I'm scared of showing people what I really think. To be honest, it ain't all that shocking.

That said, I officially hate Norway and Spain. Why? They refuse, refuse dammit, to put any information regarding political risk or new laws in a part of the internet that I can access.

*sigh*

And I'm beating myself up inside for not exercising like I should...

Seems I'm another statistic.

Like a fox.

Nazi Stuff

Sorry about the title but I have Family Guy on the brain right now. I might have been about to say something but a few things just leapt into my mind and I'd rather get them out while they're standing still. Deep breath.

First of all, I'm terrified of psychiatrists. I don't know why, but therapy and other related analysis would be an admission that something is wrong. And I refuse to surrender.

Secondly, I'm amazed at how much my main character has changed in my mind. He's gone from being a semi-serious soldier type to a back-stabbing (literally), occassionally murderous kleptomaniac, who enjoys the odd victory dance, as well as singing while wearing only a loin-cloth, and who forgets the preceding five hours whenever he has sex.

Go figure.

Other than that, my head is pretty blank right now. No idea what happened with that carnival thing. Easter came and went without saying hello. I got a project half-finished and a Sage exam is looming in the near future (read: Tuesday). I also bought a box-load of warhammer models I probably didn't need...

I guess the real reason I'm here is because I need to break the silence of the last two weeks. Exams are coming up, and I could be one here a bit more often. Who knows, right? Maybe I should start a sort of post secret thingie here where I post a random secret about myself at the start of each post. Could work well...

It could also be pure and utter bullshit.

Like a fox.

Technology, eh?

Despite how mind-bogglingly useful internet explorer 7 has proven to be at reducing workspace usage, I despise it. Why? Well it turns out that even though it is registered as an update to your current system, you have to uninstall the previous version before it actually works.

How do I know this? I installed it without uninstalling the other version of course. Which meant that I couldn't enter urls in the address bar without a "domain not recognised in active search terms" type error message coming up. After an hour or so of fucking around with the various disk clean-up, defragmentor and Norton scanning systems, noting that I could not restore the system to a previous point, I just uninstalled IE 7 and voila! It all works again. Of course I still can't login to the combine through my laptop for some reason, as I am constantly referred to the guest account login page, but I'm willing to overlook that for the minute.

I am also rapidly losing patience with bebo and its associated services. I am aware of course that the sheer number of members would make reviewing "Feature me" applications a daunting task, but when my brother gets approved before me, it just hits home how annoying the wait actually is. *sigh* Patience is only a virtue when you have time to indulge it, I guess.

Other than that, WF is back online, so thats another bonus, plus I fell for a pretty complex April Fools prank. Of course I still don't think my rediculous open-mindedness and gullibility are weaknesses. Why would I? Everyone knows that you have to tell bad guys the truth after all.

On an aside, I've more or less finished a random conversation that may show up at one point in One More Day, and have begun working on the next random section which involves skirts and infiltrating. I'm still a little annoyed that they can't have squirrel costumes in a medieval setting but I can live with it, I guess.

I'm also a little lost for a plot. I mean, I know where they're going now, and have a certain objective beyond that, but the whole, overarching connection thing is...is...escaping me. Maybe I should ask for advice somewhere...or something... What was I even talking about? Damn tv...ruining my attention plan. The hell is an attention plan? Span! I meant span!

*sigh*

Just another manic tuesday.

Like a fox.

Carni-thingie

Following a conversation I've been having with someone, I've been prompted to troll through the vast, seaweed forest that is my memory and write about my first completed piece of work, or the first time I've ever felt like a writer.

This of course presents its own set of problems, because I can't for the life of me remember my first completed piece of writing. I mean, I know I was in second or third class and involved some form of digging, but other than that its a blank. I think I won third place for a poem on fire-safety in sixth class...don't think I still have that on file, but I won a book voucher which I immediately spent on Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

So what are the firsts that I can remember, and can I remember any particular feelings attached to them? Hmmm. The only two that come to mind are the second poem I posted online, and the story "Shadows Crawling."

Should I post them? Who knows? I mean the guidlines were to write about them and the internet, being an abstract entity is unable to offer any guidance. I've always taken it that "write about" means reference as opposed to post... I think I'll just post a link to red can and let you crazy kids do the rest of the work.

Red Can
http://www.writingforums.com/showthread.php?t=48544

I've only just realised that I have 58 poems posted online. 58. Christ, I thought I only had ten or something like that...

So...onto the whole "feeling like a writer" tangent. Short answer, I don't. Longer answer, I've never really considered myself a writer, though I couldn't tell you why. Maybe its a lack of confidence, a fear that accepting the fact would make writing work and consequently less appealling. Who knows?

All I know is that I started largely as an attempt to get a few things out of my system, and that my first attempt ended up as a long string of highly cliche, meaningless prose. So of course, good old me took it bit too seriously, and when someone else suggested writing about a common object in an interesting way, I thought "why not?"

So, common object, and I was wracking my brain for about a day over this, before I just thought, can of coke. "But you can't put coke can in a poem" said I, so after many seconds of intense thinking red can was born.

Thinking

I hate being lower than the keyboard. Seriously, the edges of thetable start cutting into my arms and it just puts me off typing. I also hate the fact that to feel vaguely comfortable I have to then lean the chair forwards and risk slipping and breaking the computer. Then theres also the fact that this bloody laptop has one of those touchpads for scrolling which is always on even if I have another mouse plugged in, so if I hit the pad even lightly I end up clicking some random part of the screen and it just...well it's irritating.

Now I've forgotten what I was going to say...erm...bollocks...ah!

A fair few years ago, back when I was somewhere between the ages of five and ten (we'll say seven to keep it nice and simple like) I went to visit my granddad's house with my dad. Now, I remember being fascinated by the funny stick between the two front seats (which I now know is called a hand-brake). Now bear in mind that grandad's house is at the crest of a hill, at the bottom of which is a T-junction to the main road and a stone wall.

So I'd experimented with this stick before, and was unable to make it go down, even though dad was able to press it down easily whenever he started the car. This time, while the car was sitting on this steep slope, and my dad had gotten out to greet grandad, I decided to try out that stick once more. Of course this time I managed to get it to work, resulting in the car rolling forwards down the hill with my dad sprinting down beside the car, shouting something I can't remember. I just reached in and pulled the stick back up again, and the car stopped. Everything after that is a blank but needless to say I left it alone after that.

Still, I don't think it occurred to me then how much danger I was in (it never does, in retrospect), but it's been coming back to me recently, especially at quiet times. I'm not sure why. Maybe its one of those stupid, sorry for yourself or insecurity stories. Meh. I'm just hoping that writing about it will exorcise it. Or something.

I guess this is me.

Like a fox.